just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
