So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
