Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
