plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
