Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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