party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
