We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
