I'm really into asian looking animals
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
