Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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