If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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