A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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