Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
