Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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