He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
