are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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