I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
