i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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