dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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