A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
