Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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