You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
