So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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