Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
