first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just blew my weed a kiss
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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