that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
