So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
