So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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