Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
