Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
im on a boat
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