FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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