He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
