it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
