I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
