we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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