Have you finally orgasmed yet?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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