i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
