I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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