normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
