Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
