you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Are we still banned from the library?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
