Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
