I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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