So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
