we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
