why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
