If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
