Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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