She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
