i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
