I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
