me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
